“I tried to help him/her in every way: every time I tried to talk about the problem, anger exploded. There was no way to recognise the addiction. This severely affected his/her family relationships, and soon his/her children began to show their malaise at school and in relationships.“
Relative of a person with pathological addiction.
“Before I was unable to express my difficulties and my feelings. It has been a long journey that has led me to confront my problems and sufferings that I previously did not want to hear about and tried to put out with addiction. Something in me has changed with therapy. Now I know that I always must take care of this, or I will go back to doing the same.”
A person suffering from pathological addiction.
When it comes to addictions, a distinction is often made between substance addictions, such as cocaine, heroin or alcohol, and behavioural addictions, such as gambling or compulsive shopping. Substance addictions often seem more severe than behavioural addictions. The fact that a substance is involved which affects the biochemistry of our brain leads us to think that it is the substance that controls the person who uses it, while in the second case the responsibility for addiction lies entirely with the individual.
To date, we know that there is no substantial difference between these two types of addiction. Both substance addictions and behavioural addictions can leave a visible trace in the neuronal network that makes up our minds.
The “New addictions” include gambling, compulsive shopping, and new technologies, such as addiction to TV/video games/social networks/internet, work addiction, sex addiction and addiction to romantic relationships. The new addictions also concern health-related behaviours, such as orthorexia (the excessive and inordinate need to eat in a hyper-healthy way) or undergoing obsessive and dependent physical training.
Family members are often subjected to stress, trauma, and severe frustration. Often family members or close friends have a hard time understanding the reason for these behaviours. The social network of a person who develops an addiction that is not socially accepted (for example, addiction to cigarettes is widely accepted, and in certain social contexts desired) is gradually lacking, and people soon distance themselves from those who implement addictive behaviours.
On the other hand, we find a person who expresses a profound and unspeakable inner malaise. The object of addiction is often used to seek a cure for one’s existential suffering: the immediate gratification produced by addiction removes suffering, the sense of inadequacy and the difficulty in feeling close to other people and to loved ones. This pushes people to use them more and more often.
Furthermore, we often find in addictions a strong co-morbidity (coexistence) with other pathologies, such as Personality Disorders, Affect Disorders, Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenic Disorder (Obviously not all together!).
Ultimately, we can say that when a person suffers from some form of pathological addiction, the whole family and social system is affected.
Facing a rehabilitation process often involves a multidisciplinary team and the family and closest loved ones are called to take part in it.
Family members can also benefit from psychological therapy to take care of the difficulties they encounter in living a relationship with someone with an addiction.
To find out more, contact me.
Dr Vanessa Pozzali 